Where do I begin. This new beginning has been a whirlwind for sure. Back in June when I applied for DNA and had my interview I was 100% that this was what I was meant to do. It seemed like the best option and something I was very passionate about. The weeks leading up to the first residential (7-11 October 2019) I started having doubts about it. Wondering if this was actually what I was meant to do or if I rushed into it because it was the first thing offered to me when I had no other plans for my next year. It had teaching as well as an opportunity to apply what I had learnt which is my ideal way of working so it seemed like the best option.
I’m now a little over a month into my year with DNA and already I’ve had massive ups and downs. I still battle with whether this is the right thing for me and I did recently consider quitting because it all just became too much. But for now I’m holding on. I’m taking it day by day. Week by week. I’m loving what I’m doing in the church. To be so involved in St Mungos, a church where I’ve been since I was born, a youth that my parents helped start, a family community church. It’s amazing. I feel so so welcomed by the 0-18 team. The transition from child to adult is a little hard as the people I am working with have always been my leaders and now I’m on an equal level to them. But that takes time to adjust to and I know that. This is severely pushing me out of my comfort zone into making new friends and meeting hundreds of new people all who seem to know me but I don’t know them. I do struggle to fit in sometimes, but doesn’t everyone?. It feels like high school sometimes. I was recently at a ladies meeting and over 60 women came! But they all sat in their little groups of friends just like you do in high school. And there I was at the back all alone with no friends. No other “young” ladies were there. I was about 10 years younger than any other lady there. That was hard. But it’s a learning experience. 
It is taking a bit longer to transition into a youth leadership role in the church than I thought it would. I thought “oh everyone already knows me. I’ll be fine. I’ll fit it” but it’s very different. But that’s life. I’m still a kid and so drawing that line of kid to leader is proving difficult.
So far I’ve been a part of lots of things in the church. On Wednesday mornings I’m involved in Minis which is our Mother and Toddler group, this is so so fun. The kids are just great and so happy. We recently had a Light Night with glow in the dark playdo and tape which the kids absolutely loved. We had a Grub Crawl last Friday night where we took the Youth (S1-6) round Balerno and had a meal at 3 peoples houses from the church (started, main and desert) at each house the host would give their testimony which was lovely for the kids to hear. Last Saturday I was a part of the Balerno Famers Market, this was a lovely community atmosphere. We had 2 stalls. One was crafts for the kids, a great way to start conversations about our Carol events for Primary ages kids and another stall handing out invites to various events we put on. Especially Minis, Christmas Day service, Carol Events for families and another one just for the kids. I’m still getting a feel for the new routine but it’s good so far.
But I’m very lucky that this new DNA family I have are constantly supporting me through all my many many emotions and are also experiencing the same thing so it feels less hard knowing we all go through it together. I’ve pushed away a lot of friends over the past few months due to negative friendships but my new friends on DNA make me feel like I’m okay without those people I loved for so long. People change and it’s nice to have support through that.
Prayer points please:
- That I’ll keep pressing into God even when it’s hard
- That I’ll build new friendships
- That the new 17-25 year old group will grow in numbers
- That I’ll love who I am again
- That I won’t lose sight of my faith
Anyway. This is just a wee short one to start off my year. I’m sure they’ll be more throughout.
Love n Blessings
Mairi x
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